Dinosaur park owners have no business sense

Jurassic Park without carnivores.

Jurassic Park without carnivores.

I hate Jurassic Park movies, they are always full of plot holes. The people who own the dinosaur parks always have no business sense.

They always build these big expensive parks, the parks get overrun by carnivores, and they close it down.

Stop making carnivores! Learn from your mistakes! Don’t make things that eat people. That should be their mission statement. “We don’t make things that eat people.”

People will pay money to see a stegosaurs or a brontosaurus. They don’t even need an island full of dinosaurs. They only need one dinosaur, people will pay to see one dinosaur. And if one dinosaur breaks out, that is a very manageable situation, you place down a couple of cones and grab some nets.

Why do these parks even clone velociraptors or T-Rex? Is the potential twenty percent increase in profits that comes with having carnivores worth the exponentially increased risk that everything is going to fall apart horribly? Making money off dino predators has the same track record as trying to sell limited edition Winnie-the-Pooh collector plates for three times their “market” value ten years in the future. At least with the dino investment your pain is over quickly. With the Winnie-the-Pooh collector plates, you are going to live with that mistake for the rest of your life.

Life insurance investments on celebrities with drug problems

Gary Busey life insurance risk

Gary Busey life insurance risk

It is so dumb that companies can take out life insurance policies on their employees, with the company as the beneficiary receiving the life insurance benefits in the event of an employee’s death. 

Only family members or household members should be able to be the beneficiaries of an employee life insurance policy.

Life insurance shouldn’t be a speculative investment or a financial vehicle that companies and people use on complete strangers.  I shouldn’t be able to take out a life insurance policy on a musician or an actor who has a serious drug problem, with the hope that he or she will kick the bucket.  “Hey you know I need to start saving for retirement, maybe I should buy a life insurance policy on Gary Busy or Courtney Love.”  These are people not crop futures.

Under the current life insurance rules, you can take out a life insurance policy on someone if you are dependent on them for education, support, or have a financial stake. 

So right now, I can try to make money by taking out a life insurance policy on someone who is living life dangerously and make up or create a reason why I am eligible to do so. “I need a life insurance policy on Charlie Sheen because I won a $50,000 bet against him and he hasn’t paid me yet.”  “I need to take out a life insurance policy on Amy Winehouse; because I play her music in my store and if she isn’t alive making new music, my business will go under.”

Why did E.T. go home?

E.T. went home for financial reasons.

E.T. went home for financial reasons.

At the end of the movie E.T., E.T. went home in his spaceship. The kid in the movie was really sad about this. I don’t know what the kid was so sad about. What did he think was going to happen?

E.T. isn’t from earth. E.T. lived on a far distant alien planet, where he probably paid into some form of alien social security and has a pension. Did the kid really think that E.T. was going to turn his back on all that money?

E.T. paid into that alien Social Security system because he expected to receive a benefit, because one of these days E.T. is going to be old. When that happens, those alien Social Security checks are going to look a lot more appealing than Reese’s Pieces and bike basket rides.

Polygamist love songs

Polygamist love songs

Polygamist love songs

There are over 500 million people in polygamist relationships around the world. Many of these people live in areas with large polygamist populations.

I assume that when people drive home from work in these areas, that they listen to polygamist love songs on the radio.

“I love both of you.”

“I need you and your sister back.”

It would hard for me to be motivated if I was a son on a polygamist farm. If my dad had six wives, 12 sons, and 12 daughters. And he told me that if I work hard that I can have multiple wives and lots of kids of my own. I would be like wait a minute. If you have six wives and my 12 brothers are trying to get six wives aren’t we going to run out of wives eventually? Isn’t this just a one big ponzi scheme?

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