Bees going extinct

Bees Endangered Species

Bees Endangered Species

Seven species of bees were added to the endangered species list last year.

That sucks, now if a bee stings me I can’t kill it unless I want to risk paying a $50,000 fine or spend a year in jail for killing an endangered species.

If I am spending a year in jail for killing an endangered species, I want it to be a truly epic encounter like being cornered by a Bengal Tiger or turf dispute with a Snow Leopard. I don’t want it to be some bee landing on my arm in the backyard.

I am planting flowers to help stop bees from going extinct, because of all the food we will lose when bees go away asparagus isn’t one of them. Living in a future where I have to eat more servings of asparagus in a given decade is not acceptable.

Using endangered species to get revenge

Uses for endangered spider monkeys.

Uses for endangered spider monkeys.

If I ever wanted to get even with someone, I would just put a bunch of endangered North American possums on their front lawn and call the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Because the Endangered Species Act basically says that if an endangered species is living on your front lawn, your front lawn now belongs to the animals.

Once the EPA catches wind of those endangered possums on my target’s property, I will get sweet revenge because the EPA will put a list of restrictions on his property.

For starters, he couldn’t move the possums off his yard because it isn’t his yard anymore. It is an endangered possum reserve. Secondly, he wouldn’t have free reign over his yard. No more BBQ’s or yard games, because you can’t do those things on a possum reserve.

If the possums ever left the property, the EPA would probably force my target to keep his property as a possum reserve for the next five years on the off chance that the endangered possums will return.

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