Animal towns and swine flu

Swine Flu

Swine Flu

A lot of kid stories take place in towns where many different animals are living together.
I don’t think that would work out too well in real life.

How could you have restaurants in a town full of animal citizens? I just see pigs serving food sneezing everywhere, dogs shaking hands with everyone, ducks not washing their hands when they leave the restroom. That is just swine flu waiting to happen.

The forests also suck in a world where animals live in cities. The woods would be empty cold and lifeless because all the animals moved to the town. If you finally did see a deer it would just be sad and depressing because the deer probably fell through the cracks of society and is homeless.

It is also tough to have a good love story in an all animal community. If a cat and a goat meet and fall in love, if the parents are against it and say that they aren’t good for each other. There is probably going to be some truth to that. And no one wants to follow a story where you side with the parents.

Too old to be one of the boxcar children

The boxcar children

The boxcar children

Turning 30 sucks. Because you are too old to be one of the boxcar children.

If you are 30, people look down on you if you are homeless and living in a railroad boxcar.

If you are in high school or middle school and living in a railroad boxcar, it is cute and endearing like the boxcar children.

The whole town loves you, because you and the other orphans are living on your own, solving mysteries, and doing laundry.

But if you are 30 years old, living in an abandoned boxcar, solving mysteries, and doing laundry with other 30 year olds; you just took one giant leap out of everyone’s comfort zone and everyone wants to get rid of you like a household pest.

Even the boxcar children would say, “that homeless guy has got ta go.”

Publishers decide to reboot books

Publishers remake books

Publishers remake books

Movie studios are remaking movies more and more now: King Kong, Footloose, Ocean’s 11, etc.

I don’t understand why book publishers don’t remake books too.

A lot of movies get remade because they are out of date or to put current actors in them.

Books can be remade for the same reasons. Although book remakes can’t take advantage of breakthroughs in special effects. In the book remake, the writer could just describe the action sequence better to make it seem more realistic to the reader.

A lot of people might not be too excited to read Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky. But if people see that Danielle Steel or Dean Koontz is writing the remake, they may want to read remake.

Or book publishers might try to give To Kill a Mockingbird a more modern feel by making it take place on the moon and making Boo Radley a cyborg.

The Hunger Games

The real dangers in the Hunger Games universe.

The real dangers in the Hunger Games universe.

In The Hunger Games, 12 districts or communities have to offer up two kids as tribute to the capitol every year for a fight to the death. I don’t know why everyone in the districts makes such a big deal about this.

The towns that these people live in basically have technology and medicine from the 1800’s.

Although it is sad that each district loses 2 kids to the hunger games each year, each district probably loses 14 kids every year to Tuberculosis, Cholera, and Pneumonia. They shouldn’t even call the book series The Hunger Games.

They should just call it “Tuberculosis” because Tuberculosis affects the community more. I think the Hunger Games is more of a sub plot to the main plot of a world that has a terrible Healthcare system.

Did Dan Brown plagiarize in the Da Vinci Code?

Dan Brown Steven King Plagiarizing

Dan Brown Steven King Plagiarizing

In 2006, Dan Brown was accused of plagiarizing the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail in his novel The Da Vinci Code.  The courts found him innocent.  However, earlier this week I found proof that Dan Brown did plagiarize.  Dan Brown did steal the ideas he included in his book The Da Vinci Code.  However, he didn’t steal them from the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail.  He stole them from his previously published book Angels and Demons.  Anyone who has read Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code knows that they are the exact same book.

The first 30 pages of The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons are exactly the same.  The author just put the pages in reverse order in The Da Vinci Code to fool readers into thinking they are getting new material. 

The moral of The Da Vinci Code is “peace, truth, and education conquer all.”  The moral of Angels and Demons is very similar, “peace, truth, and perseverance conquers most”.

If regurgitating your previously published work does infringe on copyright laws, then Dan Brown would be in trouble, but not in as much trouble as Steve King and Tony Hillerman, both of these authors would be serving consecutive life sentences.

The Twilight Saga was written for pure fantasy and enjoyment

Twilight Vampires Diamonds

Twilight Vampires Diamonds

Someone told me that they didn’t like Twilight Saga, because the books have a bad moral of “girls can tame a savage beast or girls change can change a monster”.  Another person said that the moral of Twilight was that true love conquers all. 

I don’t think the Twilight Saga had a moral to it, I think Twilight series was written for pure fantasy and enjoyment.   Twilight is similar to a story about someone who lives in a land made entirely of candy.  A story about someone living in candy land wasn’t written for morals, it was written so people could salivate about candy for 320 pages.

Here are the following reasons why I think the Twilight Saga was written for pure fantasy and enjoyment. 

1. Vampires shine like diamonds in the sunlight. 

That is pure fantasy.  Vampires burn in the sunlight. They are creatures of the night, not creatures that blend in well at a jewelry store.

2.  Edward and Bella have a baby, even though vampires can’t have kids. 

In the Twilight books it is rare, but some vampires have powers including: mind reading, tracking, or lie detection.  In Edwards’s case, his power was determined to be incubus   fertilization, or the ability to have kids.  That is a women’s fantasy, you are in love with a man who can’t have a kid, and just by pure luck and chance he is able to get one through.

3.  When Bella was pregnant in Breaking Dawn she was pregnant for about a month. 

Many women don’t look forward to pregnancy because of: the gas, bloating, maternity clothes, and morning sickness.  The idea of a women being able to go through a one month pregnancy instead of a nine month pregnancy before giving birth to a healthy baby is every women’s fantasy.

Romeo and Juliet, letters mailed to Juliet

Romeo's reading material

Romeo’s reading material

 

Over 5000 letters are mailed every year to Juliet from Romeo and Juliet.

The letters usually ask Juliet for relationship advice and are addressed to Juliet, Verona, Italy.

I don’t know why people want to get relationship advice from Juliet. Juliet killed herself a minute after finding out her husband was dead.

You should never take your own life, no matter what you are feeling. But at the minimum, Juliet should have waited until after Romeo’s funeral before she did it. That way she could show up at the funeral, give Lady Montague a hug, and speak at the eulogy.

Juliet also should have also put off her suicide until after she cleaned out Romeos apartment. Romeo probably had some embarrassing stuff in his room that he didn’t want anyone to find, like a crate of pornography. Lord and Lady Montague don’t want to find a crate of their son’s pornographic scrolls the same week that they lose him. Losing a son and finding his pornography stockpile in the same month is too much pain for any parent to go through. It is the spouse’s job to destroy their significant other’s embarrassing itmes if they pass away. One of the benefits of getting married is that you won’t die alone. The other benefit of being married is that if you do die, your spouse will clear out all of your embarrassing items: erotic toys, Grey’s Anatomy authored fan fiction, and home videos of you playing games with your cat.

%d bloggers like this: