Anti-Valentine’s Day

Anti-Valentine's Day idea

Anti-Valentine’s Day idea

I usually take part in Anti-Valentine’s Day activities on February 14th. Some of my favorite Anti-Valentine’s Day activities include:

1. Watching divorce court.
2. Instead of exchanging flowers, I give cactuses to people I don’t like.
3. I go dog shopping, because they will never leave me… and if they do.. I WILL CALL THREE DOG POUNDS AND FOUR ANIMAL SHELTERS AND TRACK THEM DOWN!!
4. I don’t buy anything red or pink during the week of Valentine’s Day. Sorry strawberries and Smart Ones TV dinners you will have to wait a week.

I wish Anti-Valentine’s day didn’t fall on February 14th. It’s hard for me to schedule an Anti-Valentine’s Day get together because everyone has Valentine’s Day plans. If Anti-Valentine’s day was in May, I think the holiday would get a lot more exposure and it would help people get into the Anti-Valentine’s Day spirit.

Decrease your property taxes

How to decrease property taxes

How to decrease property taxes

I don’t understand why people complain about their problem neighbors.

Problem neighbors are great; they decrease the property taxes you pay. Property taxes are based on your home’s value.

Problem neighbors usually have a strange lifestyle or an unkept house which decreases your property value by about ten percent.

Each problem neighbor you have lowers your home value, which lowers the property taxes you owe.

If neighborhoods want to lower their property taxes; they should ban together and lower their neighborhood‘s property value by:

1. Having everyone landscape their yards incorrectly and throw a bunch of wind socks up in the front yard.

2. Have houses add chicken coops to their backyard and add an acoustic wall to project the chicken clucks farther

3. Have the neighbors report and set up fake crimes to boost the neighborhoods crime statistics. “Hello Police someone vandalized one of my windsocks and one of my chickens was stolen.”

If you do all of those things, the county assessors will think that your house is located in a lawless wasteland with terrible aesthetics and they will give you the “you will never sell your house” thirty percent property tax discount.

%d bloggers like this: