Why McDonalds Happy Meal toys suck

Why happy meal toys aren't cool anymore.

Why happy meal toys arent cool anymore.

 

Do you ever wonder why you don’t see commercials for Happy Meal toys anymore? That is because today Happy Meal toys suck! Happy Meal toys used to be one of the best parts about being a kid. Today, however, in reaction to numerous lawsuits and child safety movements; McDonalds has decided to make their toys safer. There are no longer cool happy meal toys like: cars that shoot out sparks or robots that launch rockets.

Today you are lucky if you get a toy cow in your Happy Meal. Because if you did get a toy cow, it will only be a couple of months until McDonalds took that toy cow off the market, under fears that kids will choke on the toy or get seizures from the cow’s crazy color patterns.

The last toy that McDonalds will include in a Happy Meal before the Happy Meal toy is discontinued will be a white plastic ball, because that is the toy that is the least susceptible to lawsuits. A plastic box is almost as safe as a plastic sphere, but the box has all of those pointy corners.

Safer happy meal toys actually injure more people than safe ones.  Those extra-safe happy meal toys keep kids safe when they are young.  But when the kids grow up, they aren’t as equipped for dealing with the dangerous things in the real world.  Sure those unsafe happy meal toys of the past resulted in a few cuts, burnt hands, and poked out a few eyes.  But the kids who survived were smarter, tougher, and stronger.  People need to realize that they can’t have it both ways.  Either the happy meal toys hurt us, or the real world hurts us.

It is predicted that in the year 2050, the addition personal injuries caused by kids not playing with dangerous happy meal toys and therefore not learning to be cautious when dealing with the real world will cost society $102 billion dollars a year through increased personal injuries.

The government should step in and fix the problem by issuing cap guns and cars that shoot sparks to every kid in the nation.

%d bloggers like this: