Pluto should be a planet

Pluto’s status as a planet.

Pluto’s status as a planet.

 

In 2006 the International Astronomers Union demoted Pluto so that it was no longer a planet.  Pluto was demoted because its small size didn’t fall into the new definition of what a planet is. 

That is so stupid.

Saying Pluto isn’t a planet is like telling Pinocchio he isn’t a real boy.  Sure technically Pinocchio isn’t a real boy and he is just a puppet brought to life by the Blue Fairy.  But is telling Pinocchio he isn’t a real boy, really going to accomplish anything, or increase our understanding of the world.

There is absolutely no incentive for us to demote Pluto from its planet status until we land on Pluto and find out that there is no alien life there.  Because if we do land on Pluto and find out that there is alien life, I don’t think telling the inhabitants of Pluto that Earth doesn’t recognize their satellite as a planet would be a good place to start diplomacy.  Telling Plutonians that they don’t live on a planet, is not an insult that can be resolved with a beer; it is an insult that can only be resolved with flying saucers and extreme prejudice.

Why did E.T. go home?

E.T. went home for financial reasons.

E.T. went home for financial reasons.

At the end of the movie E.T., E.T. went home in his spaceship. The kid in the movie was really sad about this. I don’t know what the kid was so sad about. What did he think was going to happen?

E.T. isn’t from earth. E.T. lived on a far distant alien planet, where he probably paid into some form of alien social security and has a pension. Did the kid really think that E.T. was going to turn his back on all that money?

E.T. paid into that alien Social Security system because he expected to receive a benefit, because one of these days E.T. is going to be old. When that happens, those alien Social Security checks are going to look a lot more appealing than Reese’s Pieces and bike basket rides.

The environment on Mars

The environment on Mars

The environment on Mars

Every year about 60,000 square miles of forest is destroyed and about 50,000 species in the rainforest become extinct.  A lot of people worry and stress out about this.      

That is why I think that people should live on mars.  People who live on Mars, don’t have to worry about forests being destroyed or animals becoming extinct.  You could move to Mars and live there for ten years straight and the planet would have the same number of living organisms then as it had when you started.  It would be carefree.  Mars is also a great planet to do business.  If a company wants to bulldoze some rocks to make room for a shopping mall, there aren’t any environmental protestors that will chain themselves to rocks, in an effort to stop the bulldozers.

Mankind has been able to live on Mars for years.  But unfortunately the Environmental Protection Agency and the Syndicate of Landlords have intervened to made sure that that will never happen, by delaying launches and sabotaging new technology. 

Both of these groups stand to lose a great deal of money if people move to Mars.  The Environmental Protection Agency rakes in billions of dollars a year protecting spotted owls, forests, and rivers.  The Environmental Protection Agency is worried that if half of the population of Earth moves to Mars, then the endangered animals and damaged environments on Earth would bounce back and there would be no need for the Environmental Protection Agency(EPA).  The EPA wouldn’t make a dime on Mars because nobody is going to want to give money save animals, forests, and rivers that don’t exist.  Landlords are also worried about people moving to mars, because the more people move to MARS, the less tenants there will be on Earth to rent to and they will collect less rent.

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