Government intervenes with the flu shot shortage.

October 14, 2012 Leave a comment

Government intervenes with flu shot shortage.

Government intervenes with flu shot shortage.

Every couple years there is a scare of a flu shot shortage. I don’t understand why so many people are worried about a flu shot shortage.

A large chuck of the US either: doesn’t like the flu shot, is indifferent towards it, or thinks that it is ineffective.

If the government were ever about to experience a flu shot shortage, they should just leak a few flu shot conspiracy stories to the public. “The flu shot is used as a tracking device.” “Inoculations are used to control the populace.” “The flu shot causes impotence.”

Once those stories hit the public, millions of people will pass on getting the flu shot and then the supply will be preserved for the old and young people who weren’t turned off by the flu shot conspiracy stories.

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Glitter

December 3, 2011 Leave a comment

Glitter never goes away

Glitter never goes away

If you ever use glitter or come into contact with glitter, you know that it never goes away.  It is basically just like radioactive waste, it has a huge half-life.

You can imagine that the glitter factories are just covered in glitter from use. Unfortunately, once these factories are done making glitter, they can’t be converted to another use because the spilt glitter and the remains of glitter explosions in the factory will never go away.   So the glitter factories essential have to be buried underground when they are done being used so that the glitter doesn’t spill out and contaminate people or the environment.

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The United Nations is not moon friendly

September 1, 2011 Leave a comment

United Nations’ diplomatic envoy

United Nations’ diplomatic envoy

People thought that we would be living on the moon by 2020.  But that probably won’t happen, because the United Nations passed a stupid Moon Treaty.

The Moon Treaty essentially states that no individual or organization can own land on the moon.  The Treaty was made so that countries wouldn’t fight each other over moon assets or resources.

That is dumb.  There are some people who would want to live on the moon, but don’t because they can’t own the land.  The Moon Treaty is delaying the settlement of the Moon.    I think that the United Nations should offer free land to the first 80,000 moon settlers.  People currently aren’t too excited about living on the moon, that is why we need to use free land as door busters to get people into the store.

But, the United Nations (UN) will never give out free land to the first moon settlers.  The UN doesn’t want people living on the moon.  The United Nations enacted the moon treaty so that no one would live and the moon and that way the UN wouldn’t have to send ambassadors and peacekeepers to the moon to straighten out conflicts.  Sending one group of UN peacekeepers or ambassadors to the moon is basically a third of the UN’s budget for the year.

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Laser battles in the future

August 21, 2011 Leave a comment

Laser battles in the future

Laser battles in the future

In science fiction books and movies, when people have battles in the future they shoot lasers at each other.  I am confused by this because currently people use lasers for cosmetic procedures such as: Lasik, hair removal, teeth whitening, and skin regeneration.

So when I imagine these futuristic laser battles, I am picturing that many of the soldiers are killed by laser fire, but that some of the soldiers shot by lasers actually walk away from the battle looking better, either with whiter teeth or more desirable skin.

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The evolution of animals in landfills

May 8, 2011 1 Comment

The evolution of animals in landfills

The evolution of animals in landfills

I hope that evolution doesn’t exist.  According to evolution new species emerge so that they are more fit to survive in their habitat.    

But, there are over 50,000 landfills in the world.  Landfills are one of the fastest growing habitats on earth.  Everyday we lose about 216 square miles of forest habitat, but we gain about a square mile of landfill habitat. 

I don’t want new animal species evolving out of these landfills.  I don’t want there to be butterflies that have wings which look like coke cans, so that they can better hide from predators.  I don’t want there to be skunks in the land fills which are much stinker so that they are better able to scare away predators who are already used to stinky smells all day long.  I don’t want animals developing second tongues, so that they are better able to process nutrients off of plastic bags.    

Here are three reasons I don’t want evolution to exist or new species of animals evolving out of landfills. 

1.  Difficult to Categorize – There would be a lot of new species false alarms where mutants would be mistaken for new species. 

2.  Exhibits at zoos – I don’t want there to be landfill animal exhibits at zoos. 

3.  Endangered species list – If the new species from the landfill ever become endangered I don’t want people trying to protect them or have people trying to preserve them.

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Pluto should be a planet

February 12, 2011 2 Comments

Pluto’s status as a planet.

Pluto’s status as a planet.

 

In 2006 the International Astronomers Union demoted Pluto so that it was no longer a planet.  Pluto was demoted because its small size didn’t fall into the new definition of what a planet is. 

That is so stupid.

Saying Pluto isn’t a planet is like telling Pinocchio he isn’t a real boy.  Sure technically Pinocchio isn’t a real boy and he is just a puppet brought to life by the Blue Fairy.  But is telling Pinocchio he isn’t a real boy, really going to accomplish anything, or increase our understanding of the world.

There is absolutely no incentive for us to demote Pluto from its planet status until we land on Pluto and find out that there is no alien life there.  Because if we do land on Pluto and find out that there is alien life, I don’t think telling the inhabitants of Pluto that Earth doesn’t recognize their satellite as a planet would be a good place to start diplomacy.  Telling Plutonians that they don’t live on a planet, is not an insult that can be resolved with a beer; it is an insult that can only be resolved with flying saucers and extreme prejudice.

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Should cloning be legal?

February 6, 2010 3 Comments

The downside of cloning

The downside of cloning

Cloning should be outlawed, because it is bad for the next generation of people.  People just like themselves too much.  If people have a choice between cloning themselves or having a kid, what do you think they will do?  This is going to be very bad news if Kanye West decides to clone himself and the clone decides to clone itself for the next 1000 years.  Cloning is also bad because it can cause marital strife.  If you think joint finances are tough to deal with.  That is nothing compared to couples arguing over whether their clone should be of him or her.    

Husband: “I want our next child to be a clone of me.”

Wife: “I want our next child to be a clone of me.  The last three kids we had were clones of you!”

Husband: “Hey I want to see my clones in a barbershop quartet, not be in a barbershop quartet with my clones.”

Bill on cloning in Congress

Bill on cloning in Congress

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Coke’s effect on global warming

February 6, 2010 1 Comment

Carbonated drinks, carbon dioxide, and global warming.

Carbonated drinks, carbon dioxide, and global warming.

People are starting to make changes to decrease their impact on the environment.  But there is one thing that people will never give up, no matter how bad the environment gets… drinking coke.  There is a lot of carbon dioxide in Coke which gives it its fizzy bubbles.  When you open the can a lot of that stored carbon dioxide gets released into the atmosphere.  In 2003 for the first time in history carbon emissions from coke and other carbonated beverages passed electricity and heat, as the number one cause for increased carbon dioxide concentrations in our atmosphere. 

This could spell disaster for the planet.  We need to shift away from drinking carbonated beverages and drink alternative non-carbonated drinks: such as grape juice or milk.  However, scientists agree that these alternatives won’t be economical feasible for at least another decade.  In the meantime there are many things we can do to limit our coke use.  You can share a coke with a friend; this reduces carbon emissions by half.  You can use mass beverage delivery systems, such as fountain drinks, which releases 60 percent less carbon dioxide but is 60 percent more watered down.

Also, if you want to help the environment, don’t build Mentos MythBuster soda fountains.  Not only do they release carbon dioxide, but they stain and have lost all jaw-dropping potential.

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Blood-sucking aliens in the movies

February 6, 2010 2 Comments

Aliens after human blood

Aliens after human blood

I think it is stupid when I see movies where aliens want to drink and collect human blood.  In the movies, aliens fly halfway across the galaxy in a cramped space ship; all because they want human blood.  There is no way that aliens would go to such great lengths to get human blood. 

I have seen four movies where aliens steal blood from people.  And in each movie the aliens never test the blood before they use it to see if it is safe to use or not.  That is crazy!  Blood is dangerous, people have: hepatitis, infections, diseases, and tattoos.    

It’s like these aliens haven’t discovered biology yet.  They can travel across galaxies, build laser guns, and translate any language.  But they don’t bother to stop and check to see if a person’s blood is safe to use or not.

The Food and Drug Administration protects people from bad food in the United States.  Don’t these aliens have a Food and Drug Administration that tells them the dangers of collecting and consuming human blood and tells aliens the precautions that need to be taken when dealing with human blood? 

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Earth has more 90,000 percent more cows than tigers living on the planet, proof that natural selection doesn’t work.

January 14, 2010 1 Comment

Natural selection doesn't work

Natural selection doesn't work

 

I don’t believe that natural selection works. There are currently about 2 billion cows living on the planet and about 22,000 tigers. Natural selection states that, “animals which are more fit have a better chance of survival and passing on their genes.”

Since the cows on the planet outnumber the tigers 90,000 to 1, does that mean that cows are more equipped to survive than tigers?

There is no way that a cow is more equipped for survival than a tiger.
1. Tigers can climb trees, cows can’t climb trees.
2. Tigers can jump 11 feet in the air, cows can’t jump over a four foot fence.
3. Tigers can see in the dark and hunt at night, cows sleep at night.

The reason we have more cows than tigers, is people. People poach tigers and farm cattle. The cow or tiger’s environmental fitness or genetic strength doesn’t determine survival, people do. People don’t care how fit or unfit an animal is. We just poach, hunt, eat, or farm any animal we want. That is why I don’t believe natural selection works. Natural selection just doesn’t work when you have people walking around.

I guess excelling in the animal kingdom is a lot like excelling in the business world. It’s not about what you can do, that determines how successful you are, but who you know. And in this case, the reason cows are so successful is that they know people.

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