The Government and the collectors market

November 9, 2011 Leave a comment

Government action to help the collectibles market.

Government action to help the collectibles market.

During the 2007 recession, the government bailed out the stock market by: cutting interest rates, taking over companies too big to fail, and starting bank TARP programs.

Bailing out Wall Street is great for stock owners, but is sucks for people who invested outside of Wall Street in collectibles such as: Star Wars figurines, Faberge eggs, and Cabbage Patch dolls. Those owners have received little to no alleviation from the Federal government in response to the falling collectible values during the recession.

The federal government never took any toxic beanie babies assets off the market to help unfreeze the stuffed animal collectibles market.

The government never made it a requirement that third parties perform audits on eBay listings to make the information more reliable for investors.

The government never passed a first-time Faberge egg buyer credit, to help reduce the supply of Faberge eggs in the sellers market.

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Leaving money to your pets

October 23, 2011 1 Comment

Leaving money to your pets

Leaving money to your pets

People who are single sometimes leave money to their pets in their will. Unfortunately if you leave money in your will to your pet, the potential heirs always challenge your mental state, saying that you were not of sound mind when you made the request of “fluffy gets half of everything.”

The law views pets as property, so if you plan on leaving property to property, legal people think you are crazy.

Example: “I want my coffee pot to have my Mallrats DVD.” = crazy

I think more people would leave money to their pets in their will, but don’t because they don’t want other people talking about whether or not they were crazy after they die. It is hard to have a good funeral for yourself when the people in the congregation are splitting time between thinking about fond memories of you and thinking of any memories that prove that you were mentally insane.

That is messed up. If you leave $3,000 to your pet when you die, your sanity is reviewed and you can be determined to be mentally unsound. But if in your estate you leave: a baby toupee, your ex-wife’s wedding dress, and a UFO detector to people, no one will ever review your sanity after death and you are determined to be sound as a pound.

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The United Nations is not moon friendly

September 1, 2011 Leave a comment

United Nations’ diplomatic envoy

United Nations’ diplomatic envoy

People thought that we would be living on the moon by 2020.  But that probably won’t happen, because the United Nations passed a stupid Moon Treaty.

The Moon Treaty essentially states that no individual or organization can own land on the moon.  The Treaty was made so that countries wouldn’t fight each other over moon assets or resources.

That is dumb.  There are some people who would want to live on the moon, but don’t because they can’t own the land.  The Moon Treaty is delaying the settlement of the Moon.    I think that the United Nations should offer free land to the first 80,000 moon settlers.  People currently aren’t too excited about living on the moon, that is why we need to use free land as door busters to get people into the store.

But, the United Nations (UN) will never give out free land to the first moon settlers.  The UN doesn’t want people living on the moon.  The United Nations enacted the moon treaty so that no one would live and the moon and that way the UN wouldn’t have to send ambassadors and peacekeepers to the moon to straighten out conflicts.  Sending one group of UN peacekeepers or ambassadors to the moon is basically a third of the UN’s budget for the year.

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Laser battles in the future

August 21, 2011 Leave a comment

Laser battles in the future

Laser battles in the future

In science fiction books and movies, when people have battles in the future they shoot lasers at each other.  I am confused by this because currently people use lasers for cosmetic procedures such as: Lasik, hair removal, teeth whitening, and skin regeneration.

So when I imagine these futuristic laser battles, I am picturing that many of the soldiers are killed by laser fire, but that some of the soldiers shot by lasers actually walk away from the battle looking better, either with whiter teeth or more desirable skin.

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Bartering as the new method of exchange for goods and services

July 3, 2011 Leave a comment

Bartering for goods

Bartering for goods

With the current financial turmoil, some people think that our monetary system isn’t working and that we should go back to bartering as a method of exchange instead of currency. 

If we switched to bartering as a method of exchange, that would suck for criminals.  Thousands of thieves would keep throwing out their backs, because $10,000 worth of apples is a lot heavier than $10,000. 

Dating wouldn’t be as fun if we went back to the bartering system.  Money is an aphrodisiac.

When a guy goes on a date with a girl, guys usually pay the bill and the girls usually enjoy this because it is: nice, proper, and a turn-on.  But if we go back to a bartering system for the method of exchange, then guys are going to have to pay for dinner with goods such as: eggs, Pepsi, and shingles.  Paying for dinner with a pile of stuff you keep in your car isn’t going to put the woman in the mood.  Paying for a meal with goods is about as impressive and sexy as paying for a meal with a big change jar.

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Pole dancing in the Olympics and Olympic demonstrative sports

June 12, 2011 Leave a comment

Official and unofficial Olympic sports

Official and unofficial Olympic sports

Pole dancing athletes and supporters are trying to make pole dancing an official Olympic sport.  There are currently petitions and lobbying to make pole dancing a demonstrative sport for the 2012 or 2016 summer games.  Demonstrative Olympic sports aren’t official Olympic sports, but are a good way to showcase a new sport and create popularity for it.  

It has got to suck being an athlete for a demonstrative sport.  Every time an athlete from a demonstrative sport steps onto the playing field, they know that the International Olympic Committee doesn’t think that their sport has the character, strength, or skill to be on the same level as other Olympic sports such as Curling, Ping Pong, and Equestrian Dressage (horse ballet).

Some events that have been demonstrative sports include bowling, water skiing, and ski ballet (acroski Winter Olympics).  I think that these sports should not be official Olympic events.  These events are engaging and fun to watch.  But if there is a deadlock in the medal race between: the US,China, andRussia.  I don’t think that bowlers should determine the outcome of the competition.

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Life insurance investments on celebrities with drug problems

June 4, 2011 1 Comment

Gary Busey life insurance risk

Gary Busey life insurance risk

It is so dumb that companies can take out life insurance policies on their employees, with the company as the beneficiary receiving the life insurance benefits in the event of an employee’s death. 

Only family members or household members should be able to be the beneficiaries of an employee life insurance policy.

Life insurance shouldn’t be a speculative investment or a financial vehicle that companies and people use on complete strangers.  I shouldn’t be able to take out a life insurance policy on a musician or an actor who has a serious drug problem, with the hope that he or she will kick the bucket.  “Hey you know I need to start saving for retirement, maybe I should buy a life insurance policy on Gary Busy or Courtney Love.”  These are people not crop futures.

Under the current life insurance rules, you can take out a life insurance policy on someone if you are dependent on them for education, support, or have a financial stake. 

So right now, I can try to make money by taking out a life insurance policy on someone who is living life dangerously and make up or create a reason why I am eligible to do so. “I need a life insurance policy on Charlie Sheen because I won a $50,000 bet against him and he hasn’t paid me yet.”  “I need to take out a life insurance policy on Amy Winehouse; because I play her music in my store and if she isn’t alive making new music, my business will go under.”

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The real extractors from the movie Inception

May 15, 2011 Leave a comment

Extractors entering people’s dreams

Extractors entering people’s dreams

In the movie Inception there are people called extractors who steal ideas from other people while they are dreaming.  The extractors have to be sleeping in order to enter a dream and steal an idea from another person.

It would be sweet to be an extractor like in the movie Inception, because you would get paid to sleep.  At any other job, if you are caught sleeping, you get fired. 

My only criticism with the movie Inception is that they romanticized the extractor profession, those extractors didn’t seem like real extractors.

In the movie, the extractors wanted to go to sleep to enter someone’s dream, but they never ate really big lunches to help them go to sleep.  At work everyone is ready to take a nap after eating a really big lunch.  So in real life, if these extractors wanted to go to sleep, they would be eating rich calorie packed meals whenever they planned on entering someone’s dreams. 

In real life, extractors would also be 60 pounds over weight, because you don’t burn a lot of calories from those big lunches when the only movement you do at work is rapid eye movement.

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The evolution of animals in landfills

May 8, 2011 1 Comment

The evolution of animals in landfills

The evolution of animals in landfills

I hope that evolution doesn’t exist.  According to evolution new species emerge so that they are more fit to survive in their habitat.    

But, there are over 50,000 landfills in the world.  Landfills are one of the fastest growing habitats on earth.  Everyday we lose about 216 square miles of forest habitat, but we gain about a square mile of landfill habitat. 

I don’t want new animal species evolving out of these landfills.  I don’t want there to be butterflies that have wings which look like coke cans, so that they can better hide from predators.  I don’t want there to be skunks in the land fills which are much stinker so that they are better able to scare away predators who are already used to stinky smells all day long.  I don’t want animals developing second tongues, so that they are better able to process nutrients off of plastic bags.    

Here are three reasons I don’t want evolution to exist or new species of animals evolving out of landfills. 

1.  Difficult to Categorize – There would be a lot of new species false alarms where mutants would be mistaken for new species. 

2.  Exhibits at zoos – I don’t want there to be landfill animal exhibits at zoos. 

3.  Endangered species list – If the new species from the landfill ever become endangered I don’t want people trying to protect them or have people trying to preserve them.

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Employee medical coverage in the dating world

April 2, 2011 Leave a comment

Employee medical coverage in the dating world

Employee medical coverage in the dating world

Currently my company is thinking about cutting their employees’ medical coverage benefits.  That sucks! 

There are a few single employees at my job.  In the dating scene, people look for: strong physical characteristics, personality, income, and medical coverage in their potential dating options.

There are about 55 million singles in the United States who are either self-employed or have bad medical coverage. 

Currently when the self-employed babes look at my medical coverage it looks like six pack abs to them.  And my company is trying to diminish my great medical coverage and turn my dating scene medical coverage six pack abs into a beer gut.

Medical coverage cuts also suck for married people.  For married couples having good medical coverage is like bringing home Red Lobster for dinner. 

And for married couples having medical coverage decreased is like starting to bring home Burger King for dinner instead of Red Lobster.  Sure you can chew through the Burger King, put it on a table cloth, jazz it up, and have a good time. 

But it is not easy to be viewed as the hero for bringing home Burger King for dinner.

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